That little flame that lights a fire under your ass…
I’ve been wallowing in the black pit of my twenties a bit lately, frightened by those silly things in life we call uncertainty and doubt.
And I am sick of the winter. So that certainly doesn’t help things.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now, the uncertainty and constant transition but I’m not. Still, each time I face a transition I get fraught with fear, imagining each and every one of the ways that things could possibly go wrong.
This time it’s all about the job. For the last year and a half I have been working at a homeless shelter. Its a job that I actually really love. I find it challenging and engaging. I’ve seen substantial growth in the time I have been there and I find the work suits me well. The problem is I think it might be sucking out my soul. I need a change.
It’s no different a situation than many other people my age find themselves in. Long gone are the days when you stay in the first job you get out of college. The average person flies through 7 jobs in their 20’s. That’s averages out to changing jobs just about once every year and a half. I am right on track to hit that number.
Somewhere along the line we were given the idea that a job shouldn’t just just be a money making endeavor, that it should also be a means to achieving self-satisfaction and meaning in our lives. So instead of just sitting unhappily in a job we hate, we move on in search of that ideal job that will give our lives meaning and purpose…. And if we can make good money, then that’s even better.
I think Princeton said it best in Avenue Q, “I cant pay the bills yet, ‘cause I have no skills yet, the world is a big scary place. But somehow I cant shake, the feeling I might make, a difference, to the human race.”
Some days I curse those who put this silly idea in my head. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if I didn’t care what I did from 9-5? Or in my case, from 11:30pm-8:30am? (Or maybe that’s the problem- the hours, not what I do during them…? Likely.)
So here I go again, into the vast wilderness that is the job search. Will I find that ever elusive, meaningful, high-paying job? I hope so. If nothing else, I will be one step closer to hitting that 7 job average and another step in line with Princeton on his quest for purpose.
